Supporting Your Buff After a Student Death

A guide for Buff Families

A student death, especially when a student dies by suicide, can deeply affect a campus community. Even if your student didn’t know the person who died, they may still be impacted.

You may feel unsure how to support them from a distance. This guide offers simple ways to show care, recognize what your student might be experiencing and connect with campus support.

What Your Student May Be Experiencing

There’s no “right” response to a loss like this. Your student may feel:

  • Shock, numbness or disbelief
  • Sadness, grief or guilt
  • Anxiety or feeling on edge
  • Difficulty focusing on school
  • Changes in sleep or appetite
  • Disconnection or withdrawal

These reactions can come and go, especially when something reminds them of what happened (like conversations, social media or campus spaces). Some days may feel a little easier, while other moments may bring those feelings back unexpectedly. Everyone responds differently, and it can take time for your Buff to process a loss like this.

Encourage your student to communicate with their professors if they need support or flexibility in their classes during this time. Counseling & Psychiatric Services (CAPS) can provide a letter to help start that conversation if needed.

This disruption may be short term, but if it continues to affect your student, reaching out for additional support can help. Encourage your student to call us at 303-492-2277 to get started.

How You Can Support Your Student

Lead With Presence, Not Solutions

You don’t need to fix anything. Listening and showing you care is what matters most. You might say:

  • “I’m so sorry this happened.”
  • “I’m here for you.”
  • “How can I support you right now?”
  • “It’s okay to feel however you’re feeling.”

Sometimes just being quiet and present together is enough.

Avoid Pressure or Judgment

Try to avoid:

  • Pushing them to “move on”
  • Telling them how they should feel
  • Minimizing what they’re experiencing

Grief and trauma don’t move in a straight line.

Stay Connected Over Time

Support matters both now and later.

  • Check in regularly, even after a few weeks or months
  • Send a quick message to say you’re thinking of them
  • Let them know your support doesn’t have a timeline
Care for Yourself

Supporting your student can be emotionally difficult, especially from a distance. Taking care of yourself helps you show up for them. You might:

  • Keep regular routines for sleep and meals
  • Take breaks from distressing news or social media
  • Talk with someone you trust
  • Be patient and compassionate with yourself
Follow Their Lead

Students respond differently after a loss. Some may want to:

  • Keep their regular routine
  • Take a short break from classes or campus
  • Spend time at home or with friends
Offer Practical Help

Ask your student what would help and be flexible. You can also offer practical support like:

  • Sending groceries or meals
  • Helping them think through academic options
  • Encouraging rest, food and hydration

When to Consider Additional Support

Many students lean on friends and family after a loss. Professional mental health support may be needed if your student:

  • Is struggling to keep up with academics or daily life
  • Has ongoing difficulty sleeping, eating or taking care of themselves
  • Expresses hopelessness or talks about harming themselves
  • Is using substances in ways that impact their well-being

Mental Health Support

CAPS is here to support students who may be experiencing impacts from recent events and other mental health concerns. To access same-day appointments and crisis services, call 303-492-2277 or drop-in during regular business hours. CAPS has crisis phone support available 24/7.

CAPS also offers Let’s Talk, which allows students to connect with a counselor for free and confidential drop-in services virtually or in person. Your student can also sign up for free workshops to address issues related to grief, anxiety, self-care, relationships and more.

Academic Support

Student Outreach, Advocacy & Support (SOAS) works with students facing challenging situations by connecting them to helpful resources and creating a personalized plan to support their well-being and success. There are three ways to refer a student to SOAS:

Additional 91ý

The Division of Student Life responds to each loss or traumatic event based on the needs of the campus community. Staff work together to coordinate outreach and connect students with support and resources.

The Office of the Dean of Students partners with students, staff and faculty to help determine what support may be needed and when to offer it. Families can contact the Dean of Students office to learn more about available support by emailing deanofstudents@colorado.edu or calling 303-492-9048.

Your support can make a meaningful difference, even from afar. You don’t have to have the perfect words. Showing up, listening and staying connected helps your student feel less alone.